What Love Looks Like

What does love looks like?

The therapist asks one week after the breakup

and I’m not sure how to answer that question

except for the fact that I thought love looked so much like you

That’s when it hit me

and I realized how naive I had been

to place an idea so beautiful on the image of a person

as if anybody on this entire earth could encompass all love represented

as if this emotion seven billion people tremble for would look like a five foot eleven medium-sized brown-skinned guy

who likes eating frozen pizza for breakfast

What does love looks like?

The therapist asks again

This time interrupting my thoughts mid sentence and at this point I’m about to get up and walk right out the door

except I paid far too much money for this hour

so instead I take a piercing look at her

the way you look at someone when you’re about to hand it to them

Lips pursed tightly preparing to launch into conversation

Eyes digging deeply into theirs

searching for all the weak spots they have hidden somewhere

Hair being tucked behind the ears

as if you have to physically prepare for a conversation on the philosophies or rather disappointments of what love looks like

Well

I tell her

I don’t think love is him anymore

If love was him

he would be here, wouldn’t he?

If he was the one for me

Wouldn’t he be the one sitting across from me?

If love was him, it would have been simple

I don’t think love is him anymore I repeat

I think love never was

I think I just wanted something

was ready to give myself to something I believed was bigger than myself

and when I saw someone who could probably fit the part

I made it very much my intention to make him my counterpart

And I lost myself to him

he took and he took

wrapped me in the word special

until I was so convinced he had eyes only to see me

hands only to feel me

a body only to be with me

Oh, how he emptied me

How does that make you feel?

Interrupts the therapist

Well I said

It kind of makes me feel like shit

Maybe we’re all looking at it wrong

We think it’s something to search for out there

something meant to crash into us

on our way out of an elevator

or slip into our chair at the cafe somewhere

appear at the end of an aisle at the bookstore

looking the right amount of sexy and intellectual

But I think love starts here

everything else else is just desire and projection

of all our wants needs and fantasies

But those externalities could never work out

if we didn’t turn inward and learn

How to love ourselves in order to love other people

Love does not look like a person

Love is our actions

Love is giving all we can

even if it’s just the bigger slice of cake

Love is understanding

We have the power to hurt one another

but we are going to do everything in our power

to make sure we don’t

love is figuring out all the kind sweetness we deserve

and when someone shows up

saying they will provide it as you do

But their actions seem to break you

rather than build you

Love is knowing whom to choose

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Quotes Of The Day #141

In the beginning,

everyone proud

of their own choice…

But,

in the end

not everyone faithful to their choice.

because the hardest part isn’t in choosing, but to stick to the one that you’ve chose.

Are You With The Right Partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked,

“How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, 

“It depends. Is that your partner?” 

In all seriousness, she answered 

“How do you know?” 

“Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

“Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it!

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!”

Counting

It’s been 7 months and 10 days since the last time I saw you. But, who’s counting, right? 

Feels like a zombie these days. Laughing outside, empty inside. Read so many articles about moving on but still stuck here. Trying to mingle but my heart can’t seem to open up. Now just whining here. 

Feels like I’m wasting my days. I knew you were trouble when we first met. But, little did I know that our encounter means catastrophe to my life.

Since I fall for you, my life seems colorful. But now it’s gray and white. 

When I fall for you, I feel many emotions. You make me feel like I’m a normal human being. Capable of feeling love, hate, happy, sad, confused, content. Everything. Unlike now. Nothing. Nothing at all.

How I wished I were a robot. Or having an amnesia. How I wish witches are real and they could make this amazing potion to forget things.

Time is known as the best healer for this kind of disease. But, I haven’t feel any effect yet. Been more than half a year, yet I’m still stuck in 2015. One of the best year in my wretched life. Feels like I was trapped in a room where the only thing that shown by the projector was the best memories of us.

One month

Two months

Three months

Four months

Five months

Six months

Seven months

And until God knows when..

My gosh.. I really need to stop counting..