There is a list of questions
I want to ask
but never will
There is a list of questions
I go through in my head
every time I’m alone
and my mind
can’t stop itself from searching for you
There is a list of questions I want to ask
so if you’re listening somewhere
here I am asking them
What do you think happens
to the love that’s left behind?
When two lovers leave
how blue do you think it gets?
Before it passes away
does it pass away?
or does it still exist somewhere
waiting for us to come back
When we lied to ourselves
by calling this unconditional
and left
which one of us hurt more?
I shattered into a million little pieces
and those pieces shattered
into a million more
crumbled into dust till
there was nothing left of me
but the silence
Tell me how, love
How did the grieving feel for you?
How did the mourning hurt?
How did you peel your eyes open after every blink?
knowing I’d never be there staring back
It must be hard to live with what ifs
there must always be this constant dull aching
in the pit of your stomach
Trust me
I feel it too
How in the world did we get here?
How did we live through it?
and how are we still living?
How many months did it take
before you stopped thinking of me?
or are you still thinking of me?
cause if you are
then maybe I am too
thinking of you
thinking of me
with me
in me
around me
everywhere
you and me and us
Do you still touch yourself to thoughts of me?
Do you still imagine my naked tiny tiny body pressed into yours?
Do you still imagine the curve of my spine
and how you wanted to rip it out of me?
Cause the way it dipped into my perfectly rounded bottom
drove you crazy
Baby
Sugar baby
Sweet baby
Ever since we left
How many times did you pretend
it was my hand stroking you
How many times did you search for me
in your fantasies
and end up crying
instead of coming
Don’t you lie to me
I can tell when you’re lying
cause there’s always
that little bit of arrogance
in your response
Are you angry with me?
Are you okay?
and would you tell me if you’re not?
and if we see each other again
do you think you’d reach out
and hold me
like you said you would?
The last time we spoke
and you talked of the next time
we would
or do you think we’d just look
shake in our skin
as we pine to absorb
as much as we can
of each other
cause by this time
we’ve probably got someone else
waiting at home
we were good together
weren’t we?
and is it wrong that
I’m asking you these questions?
Tell me love
that you have been
looking for answers too
– I do wanna know the answers but at the same time I don’t
