Faith

What does faith mean to you?

Do you have faith in something higher?

Do you believe that faith can bring good things into peoples lives?

To me, faith means believing in something other than yourself. I don’t believe that any two people can possibly hold the same view on faith whether their faith is religion based or not. I do believe in something higher, I was raised that way. My mother and I went to church every single Sunday and most Wednesday’s. I don’t go to church now, which I probably should but I’m still deciding how I feel about my religious faith as an adult without my mother’s influence.

When I think about faith my mind doesn’t automatically go to religion, it probably should but it just doesn’t. It goes to him, everything does. He is my every thought, I’m not entirely sure if that’s a good thing but that’s the way it is and I have faith that it will work out for us in the end. Yes, he is difficult and overprotective, sometimes even controlling… OK, he’s often controlling but I have faith in him that he means well with each frustrating action. My relationship with him test me in ways that I never thought imaginable but every second is worth it. I have faith that one day the deep fear of losing me will dissolve and he will embrace our future together, that’s all I want. I know he wants it too, though he would never say it. I have so much faith in that man that I will take every single tear, every single pointless argument, I’ll take it all just to be around for the day when he has faith in himself. I have faith that one day he will say what he feels openly and honestly, finally putting an end to his self-imposed exile.

I have faith that one day he will finally see that he isn’t a villain. He tries so hard to be one but deep down he’s really a hero. He’s been my hero, my tormentor at times, but mostly my hero. He saved me from myself, I spent my life pretending to be someone I wasn’t and he has shown me that it’s OK to be myself. I don’t have to conform to the person my mother wanted me to be and I thank him dearly for it. I have faith that he will see how truly incredible he is, he’s so incredibly perfectly imperfect and I love him so much for that. He may not show it the conventional way but he tries and that’s all I can ask for from him. I have faith that if he continues to try, he will finally allow himself to be happy. I will continue to have faith in him until he stops trying.

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